Friday, December 26, 2008

Are You There Paul? It's Me, Jeff.

Dear Paul Allen, Part Two:

After the Orlando debacle a friend of mine told me to watch the Blazer's home game against the LA Clippers, thinking it would prove I wasn't the reason for the losses of the past. I kind of got mad at him for doubting me but I said, "Okay, Brian, I will watch this game, even though the Clippers are terrible and we are playing at home. You will see once and for all that I am the reason."

So what I'm going to do is write out the text exchange we had during the 2nd half of the game. Brian watched the 1st half at my house before heading to a concert at the Crystal Ballroom. Here is the blow by blow after he left:

Brian: Think you gotta stick with it. They'll win this game. Keep watching. Let me know what happens. 

Jeff: I'll watch, but I've seen Rudy miss two free throws in two nights now.

Brian: Oh shit. Rudy just missed a free throw? That never happens, maybe you should just give up.

Jeff: The Spanish connection did just strike again though.

Brian: Score?

Jeff: 86-85 Clips. Zach is killing us. I'm bad luck.

Jeff: Mr. 4th Quarter is taking over.

Jeff: But Oden just missed an easy one. Fuck.

Jeff: U with your girl?

Jeff: Rudy just rattled out a 3. Fuck.

Jeff: 92-91 Clips. 3:13 left.

Jeff: Oden going to the line for 2.

Jeff: We look terrible. Rudy is playing like shit.

Jeff: Roy just hit a crazy bucket. 96-92. Refs just gave us a gift on a terrible call. Roy has 30pts. for 3rd game in row.

Jeff: Oden is getting more manly at least.

Brian: How much time? The band is sweet!

Brian: Keep watching.

Jeff: Clips just hit a tough shot. We're up 2 with 20 secs. Blazers timeout.

Jeff: Even if we win it won't break the curse. The Clips are 4 and 17!

Jeff: Clips just held Roy before inbound. Foul shot and ball. Blake misses. Now we can't get ball inbound and call timeout. Deja Vu Orlando?

Jeff: Blake back at line. If he misses, it's all me.

Jeff: Missed. He's 94%!

Jeff: Missed again. 3 in a row. Was 31-33 before tonight.

Jeff: Trade Blake.

Jeff: 18 secs

Jeff: Blake steals! Gets fouled.

Jeff: Makes first.

Jeff: Misses second.

Jeff: What a choke artist.

Jeff: Trade Blake!

Jeff: 8 secs up 3.

Jeff: Blake is such a turd.

Jeff: Baron at buzzer over Rudy. OT.

Jeff: Baron was 0-12 in late game pressure 3s before that shot.

Jeff: I want a contract.

Jeff: I swear if I turn this off we will win. If I don't we will lose. What should I do?

Jeff: Blake is an idiot.

Jeff: Davis another 3. We're going down.

Brian: Turn it off. Drink a beer. You got a cool wife and a good lookin kid. Go to bed.

Jeff: Lost by 8. Mike Rice even said he's bet his house that Blake would make his free throws.

Brian: Fuck. I take everything I said back. Don't watch the Holiday Bowl. Please.

Jeff: I won't. I'm glad you finally believe me.

Ok, so, that was the Clippers debacle. After that game I watched the Utah game on the road. Blazers didn't have a chance. Then I decided to give them a break and not watch them play at home against the Phoenix Suns. Of course, Brandon Roy scores a career-high 52 points and the Blazers win a thriller. And he made all 16 free throws. The next game was Denver on the road. I watched. They lost. The played Denver again the next night at home and I didn't watch. They won. Then, on Christmas Night, they played at home against the Dallas Mavericks. I watched with friends and family who assured me we'd break the curse together. Bah Humbug. Add it up and the Blazers are 2-5 over their last 7.  I watched 5 games. C'mon, Mr. Allen. What more proof do you need?



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